While doing my regular, daily blog crawl, I stopped by my friend Becka’s at Studio222. She and her honey Nate always have something up that just about makes me snarf tea out of my nose. One of her recent posts featured a silly but thought provoking question which has inspired me to dig a little deeper and answer it for myself.
Becka asked “What have you always wanted to do that you’ve been too embarrassed or afraid of failure to tell anyone about?”
Good thing there’s an unlimited amount of characters in a blog post because I could go on and on with this one. The reason it struck my funny bone this week specifically is because I’ve been working out lately…to keep the workouts interesting and inspiring I get new videos from the library or Netflix. I always gravitate toward the dance-y cardio ones. I think I reserve a strong hope that one day in life I will transform from the bumbling doofus that I actually am, into the graceful, smooth and stylish girl that I wish I was. I contemplated filming myself doing one of these workouts (Scissor legs? What? And move my arms at the same time? Minor injury followed) and posting it on youTube—I could gain instant mega-fame for my awkwardness and maybe even see myself on a VH1 comedy special one of these days!
I guess being a good dancer would be an obvious answer to this question. I could also add being an actually talented singer This differs from being an artificially talented singer—which I am. Meaning that there is in fact, no talent in my singing abilities. I’d also like to flex my décor/styling muscles which tend to be pretty atrophied from lack of resources, space and time of course. I might like to try teaching a bit also—maybe a cooking class, or a papery/design type of class? I don’t know…I’m so embarrassed or afraid of failure that I’m actually surprising myself by even mentioning this.
On a serious note, another reason this question made an impact on me is because of how much influence over our actions we often give to our peers, and even perfect strangers. We often suppress our interests, and even our truest passions because of the risk of judgement by others. I’m saying “we” but I should probably not be so broad—maybe you’re actually keenly self-secure and don’t struggle with this issue. I do. I want to fit in. I want people to like me, and want to be around me and think I’m funny and laugh with me (not AT me, just because I look like a wombat on qualudes when I do step-aerobics!)
But won’t people like me more if I’m the fearless, fun-seeking, singing, dancing kook that is at the core of my being? Isn’t it better to let it rip, than to live afraid of failing, or afraid that someone might not get what you’re getting at? From today on I’m going to make it a mission to punch insecurity in the eye when it rears its ugly head! Just imagine how much more we can accomplish when we let ourselves live freely.
So, like Becka, I’ll end with a question to you…What small insecurities do you fight with, and how can you defeat them today?