Not that I even LIKE ice cream.

Holy. Freeking. Meltdown.

Day 6 of body detox begins. Last night was the fifth night. Things were going along just fine–no, I wasn’t enjoying myself (not even close) but I was fueled by my own determination and the fact that I didn’t cheat–not even once.

But last night…oh man, last night. After a long day of work and eating nothing but bland-ass grilled chicken on bland-ass plan salad greens the “detox” part really hit me. I had heard from the others who were participating that earlier this week they had body aches and headaches. I hadn’t experienced that at all, and just attributed it to not being “addicted” to any of the things I was cleansing from.

Around 6 o clock after a walk outside I felt like I was hit by a truck. Sweats. Body aches. Fatigue. And a generally nasty temperament. I choked down my dinner with visions of ice cream cones dancing in my head. By the time Dino got home I was at my breaking point…I was ready to tear into the pantry and get *gasp* a bowl of cereal!!!! The horror!!! I was like a fiend–you would have thought I was coming off of dope. All for a lame bowl of Smart Start and some strawberries. I was jittery, fidgety and at one point in tears and I didn’t think anything would stop me from cheating.

But I didn’t. I did not. Instead, I got up and cut a grapefruit and had (afreekin’nother) handful of almonds. Woowee, life is good!

This ice cream photo was taken sometime last year. I swear.

It’s only been six days but it feels like forever. In those 6 days I haven’t had any
-artificial sugar
-caffeine
-alcohol
-yeast
-grains or other of the typical carbohydrates
-dairy
-joy
-taste
-will to live

I’m not even being dramatic. This is miserable. Flarking bloody miserable! And you know what the biggest drag of it is–every morsel of food I ingest involves getting out at least three utensils/plates/cutting boards and then having to clean up after myself. There is no grab-and-go. So I’m a slave to the kitchen and with no reward.

Oh, oh, wait…ohhhhhh, I forgot. You know what the best part is???????? I got my period on the second day! So I’m feeling extra sweet, you can imagine. And guess how much weight I’ve lost–just guess?

6 lbs? 4 lbs? Good guesses, yeah. But no.

One. pound.

I’m going to take a bath with my toaster.

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